Introduction

Phew! It is now (at the time of starting to type this) over half way through July and we have only just published June's newsletter. Where does the time go?

We have friends on the island that we are looking forward to meeting up with over the course of the month. Louise and Steve will be visiting for 16 days on the 8th July and other friends will be visiting Corfu before the month is up.

Our mini drama over our electricity supply continues as does our ongoing battle with TBW over the house build and the people that she appears not to have paid. The electricity is a worry but we are becoming somewhat philosophical about other issues.

At the beginning of the month, we were not to know that we were going to become party to a surprise 'human' story that had something of a pleasant outcome. More of that later!

Anyway, if I want to stand a chance of publishing this before December, I had better get on with the current month's offerings!

July 2008
July started as June ended, very hot and with still no sign of rain. We have started to get up earlier over the last couple of weeks. It is the only way of standing a chance of getting anything that requires the slightest physical effort done.

The 2nd July saw us up early making sure that the place was presentable for a forthcoming visit by friends David and Eda and David and Valerie. We had promised to collect them from their respective apartments in Agni and Kalami and take them for lunch. Because there would be six of us, it meant that Tricia was forced into driving the VW. This is something that she has been reluctant to do since I told her that I thought that she occasionally drove a little close to the edge. This is fine on most roads as there are few kerbs here but driving up the mountain does present a few prospective ... er ... issues! I should have kept my mouth shut. Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I say that not because I want to get rid of her but because it means that I end up doing all the driving!

Anyway, Tricia agreed to drive the VW and I had to make do with the Fiesta. Ultimately, none of Tricia's passengers expressed any concerns and none started singing hymns or offering up prayers. (Well, not out loud anyway!)

We started with a few drinks on the veranda for our guests before drifting off to Apnoea Taverna where we consumed a veritable feast! It was a really nice day spent in good company. The driving experience wasn't bad either!

Continuing on from last month's efforts at table making, I can now report that by 3rd July everything was ready for the final construction. Everything that is except for three pieces of angle iron deemed necessary for preventing the top from warping. Would you believe it but our local blacksmith failed to open that day. Argh! The table stayed in a state of limbo for a couple of days.

It was blazingly hot on Saturday, 5th July. I was contemplating going out to search for the illusive angle iron for the table when we received a visit from John and Michelle. Those who have been following this saga will be aware that John has become something of a 'mentor' where table making is concerned. It seems that as I had phoned a day or so previously to ask some stupid question, they had mistaken this for a disguised plea for help. They were surprised to find that it wasn't! Still we managed to while away a few hours together!

After John and Michelle had left, Tricia and I set off in search for the angle iron. We tried every place and every blacksmith that I could think of. In the end, I returned to a place in Roda that had some, albeit slightly smaller than I wanted. This proved fortunate for whilst showing a reluctant assistant what I wanted, I spotted the very size that I was after. The only problem was that the lazy blighters didn't want to cut the iron for me. No problem. I took one of their angle grinders and did it myself! I have to confess that sparks flying when cutting iron can be a little uncomfortable when wearing shorts! The fact that this angle iron was balanced on the back of their van didn't help either!

Sunday, 6th July saw us up early. It was very hot and we needed to get a few things sorted out in preparation for Louise and Steve's forthcoming visit.

That evening, we went to Taverna Nikolas for a meal with David and Eda, David and Valerie along with some of their family and friends. Yet again, it was another 'Last Supper' for us as they were returning to the UK during the next day.

With Louise and Steve due to arrive the next day, Tricia and I spent much of the 7th July making final preparations. We have to admit that it soon became evident that we were not going to complete all that we had hoped to do. Our attempts to complete everything spilled over into Tuesday the 8th July.

We had something of a reprieve as their flight was delayed by a couple of hours. It didn't matter though because we still didn't complete everything! At least it meant that we could take a leisurely drive into Corfu Town and have an equally leisurely meal at our favourite grill room, 'O Bekios'

We arrived at the airport around midnight and their flight landed around 12.20am. Perfect timing! We were sure that we detected more than a little smugness in Louise and Steve's demeanour as they walked straight out of the airport without having to wait for luggage at the carousel. Being able to leave stuff with Mum and Dad and travelling with hand luggage only does have its advantages. I guess that it makes up for the acres of stuff of ours that they have lodged in their loft!

Suffice to say that by the time we arrived home they were ready for bed. No long 'Goodnights' this time!

Louise, Steve and Tricia spent much of the next day recovering from the day before. However, by the evening Louise and Steve had recovered enough to join us and renew their acquaintances with Spiros Gelati for dinner!

I spent the morning at the electricity company. This turned out to be another abortive trip in an attempt to rationalise our supply. Things got worse as I discovered the implications of only having the wiring plan for the main house. Put simply, unless I had plans for the apartment as well, I would end up having to apply for a separate supply at a later stage. This would involve paying all the same fees over again, a second meter, double standing charges, not to mention the possibility of having to dig up the drive and terracing to put in a separate supply. It appeared that if I produced two plans from two electricians that this was also unacceptable to the electricity company. We won't discuss the VAT implications here either!

I panicked and immediately phoned Sofia. She was her usual useless self. I phoned Yiorgos who had originally arranged the electrician, Adonis, for downstairs. Yiorgos 'went into one' and unbeknown to me phoned Sofia and gave her a severe 'tongue-lashing'. I know this to be true as I later learned of this call from Sofia herself! To us at least the situation was becoming serious. The 30th July was drawing ever closer and we were becoming ever more worried that we might end up with no electricity. Ho hum!

The 10th July was as hot as ever. I had been bemoaning the fact that we had still to get the last remaining olive nets up and the grass strimmed. Steve came to my rescue and helped lift some of the nets. We didn't finish the job but we made serious inroads. I still had the strimming to do though. I had a brief meeting with Sofia but got nowhere. She was her usual evasive self and claimed not to understand the problem.

The next day I had a further meeting with Sofia who brought her daughter along for moral support. I didn't miss the opportunity to let her know my opinion of her mother's ability! Problems were compounded further by the fact that Sofia was no longer speaking to our original electrician, Yiorgos. They are related through marriage - of course!

Louise and Steve's holiday was progressing well. They had managed to get to the beach most days and were enjoying their snorkelling. Louise was so much better after her operation the previous year. She had lost so much weight and was clearly enjoying herself much more than the previous year. (For those who have not been keeping up, Louise had a serious number of gall stones removed last year. Her subsequent diet has been a real success.)

The 14th July was busy. Tricia and I went into town. There was the slight matter of an overdue phone bill and our Internet account renewal. Both are essential if we are to maintain contact with the outside world!

Why is nothing simple? We got to the main office of OTE to find it closed for renovation! Fortunately our ability to read the Greek sign outside was sufficient to redirect us to their temporary location some five minutes away. We wondered how those foreigners living here who have made no attempt to learn even the most basic of Greek would fare under these circumstances. Heaven knows that our abilities are limited to say the least!

We couldn't believe how quickly we managed to get all of our business completed. They should have moved there years ago! As a bit of a bonus, we learned that it was possible that we were going to have broadband available in our area later in the year. It is not often that we come away after spending a couple of hundred euros feeling pleased!

That night, Louise and Steve took themselves off to the Lemon Tree Taverna in Acharavi. We had never been there on the assumption that it was likely to be mosquito infested on account of its setting amongst many lemon trees. Louise and Steve had no complaints with the food and were not troubled by mosquitoes! Maybe we should try it towards the end of the season.

This day was particularly memorable for us as Corinna phoned to say that she had booked flights to come out to stay with us for two weeks from 2nd August. The whole family were coming which was particularly good news for son-in-law Dave as he had not had a holiday for three years.

The 15th July was punctuated by a surprise visit from friends, Peter and Irene, who were out for a couple of weeks holiday. It was good to catch up and we were pleased to see that Peter was looking quite fit following a knee operation.

That evening I took myself off to the kafenion. No, not for a drink but to enlist Philipos' assistance in tracking down Yiorgos, the electrician, who had originally wired the main house.

Dinner that night was spent at Spiros Gelati's. We used to think that he was particularly generous to us but we can confirm that he is like that with everybody. To quote our son David, "It's a mystery how he ever makes any money"!

Although it was hot and sunny on the 16th July, the winds were high - reportedly 32 Kph. Continuing on with our saga about rationalising our electricity supply, I had a meeting in the kafeneion with Yiorgos the electrician. I explained who had done the work downstairs and it transpired that the two of them were well known to one another. He became instantly amenable and promised that he would get a plan drawn for downstairs. That was a weight off both Tricia's and my minds. As it later transpired, things didn't quite go the way that we thought they would. Continue reading!

That night, Louise made dinner for us. I must confess to being slightly concerned as Louise is vegetarian and I would have meat with my 'Shredded Wheat' if I could! I need not have worried. The statutory meat for the rest of us cannibals was subsequently added and we all enjoyed the meal!

We took a visit to Pete and Carol's house during the morning of the 17th July to show off the work that had been done since Louise and Steve's last visit. They were impressed with the amount that had been achieved. We all took ourselves off for lunch at Taverna Zephyros. Their mezes are excellent and ideal for a vegetarian like Louise as they have plenty of suitable dishes. It was a good leisurely lunch which saw us out until 4pm. I don't know what really possessed me that evening but I actually did some strimming!

The 18th July saw Louise and Steve off to Ag. Spiridon. Work at 'Faulty Towers' concentrated around the garden and getting a bit of work done on June's newsletter.

We had some interesting information about broadband in our area from the font of all knowledge here - Philipos! As a result, I telephoned Olga, our contact at OTE. She assured me that we would have broadband next week. I hope that she forgave my scepticism! Come on now, this is Corfu!

Dinner that night was a late affair at Agonari Taverna in Agrafoi. It is one of my favourite places on account of it being a great place for a 'meat fest'. Really the sort of place that Louise enjoys - not! There was also excellent live music much of which was in the Rembetika style - right up our street! Those of you wondering how we could be so cruel to drag Louise to a place where meat was the main offering will be pleased to note that she found sufficient non - meat dishes!

Louise and Steve made a trip into Corfu Town on the 19th July. I must confess that this was going to be the furthest that the Fiesta had been driven since we bought it. They subsequently returned with no new faults to report! I took the opportunity of the slightly reduced temperature that day to lift more olive nets. I was left with just a couple to go before the final strim.

I guess that some of you will be wondering what the difficulty is in lifting a few nets from the ground. It's quite simple really. We refuse to put weed killer down under the olives which means that the grass grows ... and grows ... and grows. Then there is another aspect to the problem. I had been bone idle in not lifting them earlier resulting in the grass and weeds having grown to a height of about three feet through them. To be honest, it is a serious fire risk, a fact that our neighbour Panyiotis never misses an opportunity to remind me of. I suppose that the only upside to leaving the nets down is that the undisturbed area does give the tortoises, snakes and assorted small mammals somewhere under which to shelter!

The 20th July was extremely hot. It reached 31°C by 9am. Louise and Steve took themselves off to Seki Bay for some serious basting! They were gone until quite late in the afternoon. It was much too hot to consider much by the way of manual work and so, come lunchtime, Tricia and I took ourselves off to Apnoea Taverna for a serious meal of mussels!

That evening, I called in at the kafeneion. I wanted to see if Philipos could chase up Yiorgos the electrician about our revised wiring diagrams. We had no luck on that front but as something of a consolation, discovered that it really did look as if broadband was coming to Loutses the following week. Upon Philipos's suggestion, I telephoned Olga at OTE on her personal mobile number. (Oh how she will rue the day that I got hold of that!) I should point out that this was at 8pm on a Sunday!

Sure enough, Olga assured me that I would have broadband the following day. She also wanted me to inform as many people as I could to ensure that they had sufficient ports available. For the first time ever, I felt a little sympathy for Olga for she was a woman clearly under pressure!

I am conscious of the fact that I have been commenting upon the continuing hot and sunny weather. By lunchtime on the 21st July it was 36°C. That's pretty warm! However, Tricia and I are of the opinion that this was not exceptional for this time of year. What was exceptional however, was the length of time that had passed without a hint of rain. The 10 day forecasts were predicting that this was going to continue. As nice as good weather is, it plays havoc with the gardening. There is only so much that automatic irrigation can cope with, not to mention our bank balance to pay for it! I must confess that our vegetable plot has suffered this year. I only wish that the plants were as resilient as the weeds!

Despite the heat, Steve and I lifted the final olive nets. To be honest, the trees gave welcome shade and the task was not too onerous. It gave us something to do whilst Louise and Tricia went for a wander around Acharavi. I was now left with the final push to get the strimming completed.

That evening, we had a barbecue. We had not long finished when Yiorgos (the builder) turned up. He had phoned earlier and assured me that I was going to be very pleased with what he had for us. I was yet to be convinced!

As a reminder to those that have failed to keep up, remember that the electrician who did the work downstairs was Adonis, a friend of Yiorgos'. Adonis was also known to Yiorgos (the electrician) who had installed the wiring upstairs. Yiorgos (the electrician) was supposed to be providing an additional wiring diagram for the work done by Adonis downstairs so that we could finally apply to the electricity company for our three phase supply. Is that clear? Oh come on! By Greek standards this is quite tame!

Back to the story ...

Yiorgos arrived clutching a large envelope. It took the first of a few cans of beer before the contents were revealed! However, to our joy, once revealed we found the wiring diagram for downstairs along with duly stamped receipts showing the payment of VAT and a receipt from the electricians union stating that all fees had been paid in respect of the work.

Then it occurred to me that the wiring diagram was for both upstairs and downstairs. All the papers bore Adonis' details. It was as if Yiorgos (the electrician) had been a figment of our collective imaginations! Did we care? Well after a little initial concern followed by Yiorgos' assurances, I must concede that we didn't!

Money changed hands and a few more beers were consumed! To hell with the diabetes! Yiorgos and I conspired, oops! I meant arranged, to visit the tax office and the electricity company during the following Thursday.

We thought that the weather might break on Wednesday, 22nd July. Although it started off hot, it clouded over by 10.30am. We endured a couple of minor showers and distant thunder, none of which amounted to much.

Louise and Steve, decided that they were going to take themselves off to Lefkimmi for a spot of bird watching on the salt flats. They also wanted to try the River Taverna in Lefkimmi which was another of the places featured on Rick Stein's TV programme, 'Mediterranean Escapes'.

It is time now for us to introduce the 'human' story that we alluded to at the beginning of the newsletter. I must start the story with something of a confession!

Back in May, I received an email from a lady called Nancy who had stumbled across our website. She had gone on to explain that many years ago, she had lived here with a young local man with whom she had had a daughter, Lucy. Things had not worked out so well and in the end Nancy returned to the UK with Lucy. It appeared that Lucy was about two years old at this time. This was some sixteen years ago.

Prior to all this, Nancy had been a regular visitor to Loutses as a teenager along with her Mum. Be aware that this was at a time when Loutses was far from being on the tourist trail!

Nancy went on to list many local people that she used to know. It was something of a 'who's who' of Loutses. I don't think that there was anyone with whom we weren't acquainted with or knew of. She and Lucy in particular were keen to learn more of Lucy's heritage. Essentially she was asking for an update on the village and in particular, Lucy's grandmother, Spiridoula. The mention of Spiridoula's name rang very large bells!

Well here comes the confession! With everything that had been going on in our lives, along with a trip to the UK, I became side-tracked and despite this being a far different email to many that we receive that often start, "Hello, can you help me find a bloke called Fred who lived in Kavos 15 years ago? He owes me £50", Nancy's request was put on a back burner.

I say this because I had every intention of responding to her request as will be borne out by the several locals mentioned in the email with whom I had spoken. Apart from anything else, this was different on account of the fact that we know Spiridoula quite well, as indeed will many of the readers of this newsletter. Tricia was later to remind me that Spiridoula had often mentioned her granddaughter, Lucy who lived in England. For those of you who frequent 'O Foros' in Old Peritheia, I am sure that you will recall Spiridoula who worked for many years in the kitchen. Yes, we are talking about one and the same!

You may all have difficulty believing me when I say that I was actually thinking of writing back to Nancy on the 22nd July. Well in fact, I did. I had something of an added impetus!

Around midday there was a knock at the door. On answering it, I found a young man, Andy and his girlfriend. I didn't need telling that this was Lucy! They had come to Corfu on a weeks holiday and Lucy wanted to follow up her Mum's email. Having got a taxi from Sidari, they managed to track us down through Philipos in the kafeneion.

It started to rain and to be honest I took pity on them. Oh come on now! Even a hard-nosed old git like me wasn't going to send them away after they had made such efforts to get here! We jumped in the car and we drove off to Spiridoula's house. It took quite a bit of knocking on the door before we got any response. (Actually, it was enough knocking to get a response from her neighbours first!)

I started to explain to Spiridoula who Lucy was. I didn't get to finish because she immediately realised who she was. There followed lots of hugs, kisses and prayers offered to all manner of saints! We were all invited into Spiridoula's home and this was when it became time for Lucy to experience a surprise. As we stepped into the house, Lucy stopped and exclaimed, "That's me!"

There on a sideboard just inside the door were a number of framed photographs. You've guessed it! In pride of place was one of Lucy as a very young child. The fact that her grandmother had not forgotten her after all those years was so obviously a matter of some joy for Lucy.

Fortunately, Andy had his camera with him and was able to capture the moment for posterity. I have included a couple of the photos in the photo gallery for this month.

All too soon, it was time to leave and Lucy and Andy were then faced with the next problem - how to get back to Sidari. There are no taxi ranks in Loutses. That was easily resolved. I drove them to the kafeneion where Philipos phoned a cab driver friend of his. Fortunately, he was on a run to Ag. Spiridon and promised to be there in about fifteen minutes. He also instructed Philipos to provide drinks at his expense whilst we waited. (This would happen in the UK, wouldn't it?)

True to his word, the cab driver was there after a short wait and I said farewell to Andy and Lucy. However, the story doesn't end there.

On Sunday, 27th July around 2pm, Tricia and I had just finished lunch when the doorbell rang. I found Spiridoula standing near a car and her son, Nik, Lucy's Dad, at the front door.

It appeared that the phone number that Spiridoula had given Lucy was wrong! He was keen to see her but didn't know where she was staying in Sidari. I didn't know where she was staying either or whether she was still here. I did however have one idea. That was to contact Philipos and ask him to ring his cab driver friend in the hope that he would remember where he had dropped Lucy and Andy off. (30 years as a copper has to pay off sometime!)

I later discovered from Nancy that Lucy and Andy had in fact returned to the UK before could make contact. The last that I heard was that now that she was armed with Nik's phone number, she was going to make contact.

I also learned from Andy that the trip to Corfu was an 18th Birthday present for Lucy. I think it fair to say that Lucy will remember her 18th birthday for many years to come!

As a postscript to this story, I received a number of photos from Nancy, Andy and Lucy which I have forwarded to Spiridoula who responded in predictable fashion ... lots of hugs, kisses and prayers to all manner of saints!

It's nice to be able to help genuine people once in a while!

Back to the newsletter. The above story unfolded between the 22nd and 27th July. There were actually other noteworthy things that occurred in our lives. Well, they were noteworthy to us!

For a start, on the same day that Lucy and Andy called, I phoned Olga at the telephone exchange. She confirmed that we had broadband and that she was trying to arrange a free wireless router for me. I returned to my usual sceptical self. I didn't believe that I would ever get anything 'free' from OTE. My sceptism was later to be proven justifiable!

Wednesday, 23rd July saw me up early and strimming the remainder of the land. Temperatures had fallen to about 25°C. It felt positively cool!

Yiorgos (the builder) and Adonis (the electrician) turned up and prepared the cabling into the new electricity box ready for the day when the electricity company would supply and fit the three phase meter. (Or cut us off!)

Thursday, 24th July was a big day for Tricia and I. It was going to be 'make or break' with the electricity company, or so we thought.

I had arranged to go into Corfu Town with Yiorgos (the builder). First he had to take Eleni, his wife, to work and I was to follow on and pick him up in my car. I took the car out of the garage just as Yiorgos and Eleni drove past. Then I noticed that a front tyre looked rather flat! Argh! What was I to do? Simple! Take the Fiesta that we had loaned to Louise and Steve. The weather looked like rain and I was banking that they might be doing some packing that morning as they were due to leave that night. We had also planned a nice lunch at Eucalyptus Taverna which was, all of a sudden, beginning to look as if it might have to be a late lunch as I would have to have the tyre fixed as well as do my chores in Corfu Town.

I collected Yiorgos at Seki Bay and we set off down the coast road. It was an ... er ... interesting journey on account of the light drizzle, the serious bends and the fact that this was to be the longest journey attempted in the Fiesta. It was also very noisy. Every bend was accompanied by a loud squealing from the front tyres! Come to think of it, Louise had commented upon this phenomenon. It was amazing how much quieter it became with the addition of a little air in the tyres!

Our first port of call was the tax office where we were promptly thrown out! The woman there, in true bureaucratic fashion was not interested in us re-presenting the papers. We set off for the electricity company's headquarters. I was less than enthusiastic about our prospects of getting the papers accepted after this summary dismissal from the tax office. Yiorgos, however, maintained a cheery air and seemed totally unconcerned. I tried to boost my flagging spirits by convincing myself that perhaps Yiorgos knew something that I didn't. He certainly wasn’t expecting the reception that we received in the tax office!

We found that the customer services office at the electricity company was packed but were ultimately seen by a representative with whom I had previously had dealings. This was the man that didn't speak much English. I was pleased as the man who did speak English was the one with whom I had had difficulties during my previous visit. I was even more pleased when I found out that our non-English speaking rep. was also a friend of Adonis, the electrician!

Stamps were applied as were signatures on a plethora of documents which we were directed to take to a further office. There was a another long wait before we were seen. A couple more signatures and yet another payment and we walked out in the knowledge that our application had bee accepted!

Now I had a surprise for Yiorgos, not a particularly good one as it turned out! I knew that he wanted to pay a phone bill which tied in nicely with me visiting the exchange with a view of collecting my wireless router and signing whatever was necessary for us to get broadband. As we had waited six years for it I wasn't about to let the chance slip away.

We reached Skripero around 1pm. Yiorgos paid his bill almost immediately. I went and spoke with Olga. It took over an hour and a half before we left with everything completed. The problem wasn't that there was anything special about my request. It was that Olga convinced me to take half of the villages modems and / or routers with me!

I eventually arrived home to face the wrath of Tricia who had been eagerly anticipating her lunch at he Eucalyptus. Surprisingly, Louise and Steve were totally unfazed. We arranged to go in the evening on the way to the airport and harmony was restored. All I had to do was get the puncture repaired in the meantime. As that turned out, an embedded screw was the culprit which took about two minutes to fix.

The meal that night was excellent. I'm pleased to say that both Louise and Steve appeared equally impressed. It was especially nice for them as they like Ag. Stefanos.

All too soon, it was time to take them to the airport. The day's dramas weren't quite over. Louise had checked in and received their boarding passes online and as a result we were in no hurry to get to the airport. Ha! Louise and Steve went to go through to the departure lounge to discover that the policeman on the gate had never seen an online boarding pass. In fact, he had never heard of such a thing. Neither had his superior. Needless to say, the Easyjet check in desk was now closed!

It took a little while to find an Easyjet rep who then proceeded to produce boarding cards. Progress had yet to reach Corfu Kapodistrias airport! (We have since learned that airport staff have now been familiarised with the online boarding pass system!) Oh yes, their flight was late as well!

The 25th July saw Tricia and I on our own again. Collectively we had the forthcoming visit by Corinna, Dave and the kids to look forward to on 2nd August. More immediately, I had the pressing matter of getting our broadband connection up and running. The next drama was about to unfold.

We have a number of computers. They run a number of operating systems. At that time the count was three running Windows XP, one running Widows Vista and one running Ubuntu Linux. (We have since added a Linux server.) At that time, my main concern was to get the XP Desktop and two XP laptops up and running as most work is undertaken on them. You can guess what's coming I'm sure. Try as I might, nothing would connect. I tried all the usual remedies. I shouted, I swore, I kicked the dog and blamed Tricia. Nothing seemed to work. I phoned a variety of help desks and ultimately one technician concluded that the router must be at fault. I was instructed to call in a fault. This I duly did.

To say that I was unhappy was an understatement particularly as I had brought half the villages gear from the phone company and everybody else’s appeared to be working.

An engineer turned up very late on Saturday, 26th July. For once, he appeared to know what he was talking about. It took him a matter of minutes to get his beaten-up old laptop, complete with dodgy screen, connected via my router. "Great!" I thought. My joy was unfounded because not one of my XP machines would connect. As soon as I tried, the modem died.

After extensive attempts at overcoming the problem we gave up. "It must be the router!” said, Dimitris, the technician. We were on first name terms by now! Then came the crushing blow. "We haven't got any more," said Dimitris. "Well, I'll have to wait until Monday and get one from Olga at the exchange," I said. His reply floored me. "We don't have any more ... on the island!" I swore at nobody in particular!

It was a very irritated Bob that was left to ponder how close he had come to realising his dream of a usable connection to the outside world ... even if it was eight times slower than the one that we left in the UK six years ago.

I must state here and now that as many of you will already be aware that I have many faults, perhaps more than any one person should reasonably be expected to bear. However, one in particular is the I DON'T LIKE BEING BEATEN BY BLOODY MACHINES! Oops! sorry for shouting. It kind of just slipped out!

I sweated over the problem for much of Sunday, 27th July. You will recall that I had the brief visit that afternoon from Nik, trying to trace his daughter Lucy. I also had the village Panigieri to look forward to that night and so, all in all, I was in a reasonable mood although still more than irritated over the erring broadband connection. Then fate took a hand.

I was mulling over the night before's visit by Dimitris, the OTE technician. Do you recall that I have commented upon his rather battered laptop? For reasons that I cannot explain my mind focused on a conversation that we had about him never updating his laptop. Bells, albeit distant, started to ring.

Some weeks earlier I had received an email from a company called 'Zonealarm'. They are the manufacturers of one of the better firewall products for 'Windows' computers and I happen to use their product on all of our XP machines. It appeared that one of Microsoft's security updates clashed with Zonealarm resulting in a loss of internet connectivity. We have (or used to have) all our Windows machines automatically download and install updates. Dimitris didn't. We did. His machine worked, ours didn't. Do you see where this is leading?

Sure enough as I set about removing the security updates, installing a revised Zonealarm program and reinstalling the security update the XP machines began to make contact with the outside world. Joy! The only thing that I did curse about was the fact that I never tried the Vista and Linux boxes. They worked perfectly first time!

It was a very happy pair that attended the Panigieri that night as the photos of Tricia 'strutting her stuff' will bear out! We were joined by John and Michelle, Pete and Carol along with their friends who were staying with them.

Pete in his own inimitable fashion decided to show us his latest injury incurred when he slipped on the wet steps outside the bank in Acharavi. I am not sure whether it was the fact that he dropped his trousers or the enormous black bruise on his bum ... sorry, I meant gluteus maximus ... that caused the gasps from the assembled throng. I am not exaggerating when I say that the last person that I saw with comparable bruises had just been murdered!

It was quite late when we left the Panigieri to walk home in company with John and Michelle. It was even later when we finally said '"Goodnight". About 3.30am to be precise!

Despite our late night, Tricia managed to get into Corfu Town at a reasonable hour on Monday 28th July. We were on a mission to buy a futon for downstairs before Hurricane Fogarty arrived. As always, the one that we had seen had been sold but the store promised that we would either receive it on the Saturday that Corinna and family arrived or the following Monday. Despite our usual sceptism we placed the order. As it later turned out, this sceptism was unfounded as it subsequently turned up the day before Corinna!

It was lunch time when we decided to return home. The night before, John and Michelle had told us of an 'interesting' place that they had eaten at on the way home from town. As it happened, Tricia had always commented that she would like to try it and so that's where we headed. Some of you who are familiar with the road from Corfu Town may know the place. There is a sign for it on the right side of the road approaching Kontokali.

The place was empty but otherwise as John had described it. There were tables right down to the waters edge and a jetty out into the bay. The setting was idyllic, the view was stunning, the tables were filthy and the food was ... crap! The poor quality of the food was only surpassed by the extortionate bill! In fairness, the retsina was up there alongside some of the best that we have ever had. It was a shame really because the place had the potential to be a gold mine. If we return, it will only be for a drink! I have included some photos showing the fantastic setting though.

John and Michelle creased up when we told them of our experience. It was John's idea of a joke. I must admit for just a moment I thought of revenge! It occurred to me that there is a place in town that surpasses the level of filth and bad food experienced there. Long standing friends and visitors to the island will know where I mean. We all used to call it 'The Grot'. It was spoken of with affection by many who considered it quaint and a sample of traditional cuisine. Tricia and I were more realistic and called it a s*** hole! Our experiences there resulted in Tricia suffering food poisoning!

As an aside, 'The Grot' was the place that convinced me that the disgusting habit, almost universally adopted, of swigging from open bottles is not only totally uncouth but a possible danger to one's health. If anyone has seen bottles stored outside with pigeon droppings all over them as was the case at 'The Grot', they would never ... and I mean NEVER ... drink straight from bottles!

The 29th July saw the last of our computers on the network. It was of course, Tricia's laptop! To say that she was 'over the moon' is no exaggeration. She now spends hours writing emails and generally 'surfing the web'. She no longer competes for my office space! The wireless router seems to have a far greater signal strength resulting in access being available anywhere in the house or on any veranda. Even the comparative slow speed has opened up new horizons for us. We know longer go into a flat spin when someone sends us enormous images or when someone (Howard!) sends us outrageously large graphical jokes!

We had a visit from friends Steve and Glynis who were staying at one of Periklis' apartments on 30th July. It was the first time that they had visited 'Faulty Towers' and as a result had to endure the tour! We decided upon Gelati's for lunch. He did not disappoint.

I have to confess that leaving the house was a bit of a concern for Tricia and I as I am sure that you will all recall that this was the day that the electricity company had threatened to cut off the construction supply! I am pleased to report that it didn't happen!

That brings us neatly to the 31st July - a red letter day on two counts. Firstly, it was daughter Louise's birthday. I won't be churlish and tell everyone how old she was. All I will say is that she was born in 1969!

The second cause for celebration was that we finally got our full, three phase electricity supply installed complete with new meter. What a way to end the month!

Conclusion
Well July's missive is complete. It has been our usual roller coaster of highs and lows. For once, I think it fair to say that the highs have, for us at least, outweighed the lows.

We have had the pleasure of a visit by Louise and Steve whom we hope enjoyed a well earned break from their toils in the UK. We have also had the pleasure of visits by old friends and long time visitors to Corfu.

Then we have had the unexpected pleasure of reuniting Lucy with her grandmother whom she hadn't seen for sixteen years.

We have finally managed to rationalise our electricity supply leaving just one last thing concerning TBW to resolve. I am even hopeful of getting that done as she expressed the desire to get me off of her back. (Yippee! I am finally getting through her thick skin!)

We have included some photographs of the wall building that is now virtually complete. We will have to wait until September to finish things off as Milios will be in Albania with his family.

Corinna was concerned about the frequency with which things that crawled or slithered were occurring in the photo gallery. We have included some fluffier creatures this month! (Yes, Corinna, we know that tortoises aren’t fluffy!)

Oh yes! The sun continues to shine and the temperatures are well into the 30s!

Not a bad month, all in all. We hope that yours has been as good for you!

See you next month.

Bob & Tricia.